IMPRESSIVE INSTANT.com

I have no regrets.  There's nothing to forget.  All the pain was worth it. 

I'm not running from my past.  I tried to do what's best.  I know that I deserve it. 

Whether it's heaven or hell, I'm going to be living to tell.  So here's my story, no risk, no glory ...

It's All About Survival

DECEMBER 31st 2007

New Years Resolutions, what are mine you ask?  Well not that I really need to improve on THIS, but I have a few.

1. Step up my game on that work stuff

          - Communicate better

          - Figure out this Human Resources stuff

2. Finance

          - Deal with past fuck-ups so that I can take care of the future

          - Save a smidge

3. Start and implement a plan for New York within the next 2 to 3 years.

DECEMBER 27th 2007

This "Stay-cation" is kinda dreadfully boring.  However, I'm LOVING it!  I'm feeling like I'm getting the rest that I need.

I started watching My So Called Life last night.  Sweet sweet Cher!  I had forgotten what a fucking amazing program that was.  It brought back every sad moment of that era of my life, while at the same time bringing back every fabulous moment.  It was like being a teen again.

My DVD rotation this week -

DECEMBER 26th 2007

My Annual Top 5 Lists:  2007 EDITION

Music - makes the people come together.

Madonna - The Confessions Tour

Kylie Minogue - X

Mike - Life In Cartoon Motion

Kylie Minogue - Showgirl Homecoming Life

Celine Dion - Taking Chances

Moves - lose yourself in a fantasy.

The Simpsons Movie

Hairspray

Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix

Transformers

Ratatouille

TV - Laugh, Cry, for some Goodbye.

The Sopranos ..... Made in America

Weeds

Ugly Betty

The Boondocks ..... welcome back!

30 Rock

Books .... imagination.

(the following books may not have been actually released this year, but I read them this year.)

J.K. Rowling .... The End

James St. James - Freak Show

Josh Kilmer-Purcell - I'm Not Feeling Myself These Days

Christopher Moore - You Suck

T.J. Parsell - Fish

Broadway .... it lifts the soul.

(the following shows may not have actually debut this year, but this was the first year I saw them.)

The Lion King .... pants down, the best show on Broadway next to Rent!

Mary Poppins ..... Disney has done it again!

Hairspray .... You can't stop the beat!

Avenue Q .... Sesame Street for adults.

Beauty and The Beast ..... Tale as old as time.  Goodbye

DECEMBER 25th 2007

Merry Happy Christmas!

Everything is closed.  The movie that I want to see is sold out.  I'm bored, but I LOVE my new TV!!!!

DECEMBER 23rd 2007

This Festivus is brought to you by the good people at the Human Fund.  Make a donation today!

Chris and I were in New York yesterday to watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas on Broadway and do some shopping.  It was a little cold and unsurprisingly crowded.   had a blast though.  The show was a lot of fun.  It wasn't the same Grinch story as the cartoon and book.  It was different from the Jim Carrey movie as well.  They re-invented it and made it their own!   The shopping was ok.  I didn't get any pants or shoes like I wanted.  I guess I'll shop later on this week here in DC for that.

DECEMBER 21st 2007

I ask, am I really that horrible of a person?

DECEMBER 16th 2007

A new day has come

          ...and gone

Celine ended her five year stint at Caesar's Palace last night.

DECEMBER 7th 2007

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;

There's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got;

There's a fine, fine line between love

and

a

waste

of time

Saw Avenue Q again last night.  This time in DC.  Here's what I learned.  I am not a theatre boy.  I am a Broadway kid.  It's the glitz, glamour and magic of Broadway that makes the plays and musicals come alive and lift the soul.

That being said I will be at the Kennedy Center next summer to watch The Lion King.  Short of Rent, there is no better musical than that!

I'm thinking that during my winter brake that I am going to go up to see Young Frankenstein.  Well so long as Megan Mullally is going to be there.  I'm not sure I care so much about the play without her.  Though that gay guy from The Stepford Wives is in it and he's fabulous.

OH!  New bed came in yesterday.  This morning was the first time in forever that I slept through the night and didn't get up until the alarm went off.  Woo Hoo!

NOVEMBER 30th 2007

I saw a woman get hit by a car last night on my way home.  It was freaky.  Kind of sureal.  It was just like a movie, except she didn't get up and shake it off, there wasn't prince charming there to wake her up and we didn't cut to the scene where she wakes up in the hospital and asks where she is.  She was just slumped over on the ground.  The guy that hit her had this absolute look of horror on his face.

I'm not passing judgment here, but you shouldn't be booking it down 17th.  It's a heavy pedestrian area.

NOVEMBER 29th 2007

Woo Hoo!!!  The strike is over!!  The producers and stagehands made a deal last night and Broadway is back in business again!!

NOVEMBER 27th 2007

I put my Christmas tree up last night!  I'm so excited!  I finally get to use the decorations that I've been collecting over the past year.  Though I ended up having more decorations than tree and it's a 7 and a half footer!

Is so pretty!

The cats are scared of the tree right now, but we'll see how long that lasts!

NOVEMBER 25th 2007

Uggg  So like a week ago I started taking those meds again.  I just think that is for the best.  However I'm noticing that it's already starting to affect my drinking abilities.  I've was icky hung over all day yesterday.  BLAH!!!  I liked being al alcoholic!

NOVEMBER 24th 2007

Went to Town last night with Chris.  It's quite the fabulous little club!  I ran into some friends from back in the day.  Then found out an old friend of mine died about three years ago.   Honestly, the way he lived his life it didn't really surprise me.  I had often wondered how he as doing and if he was still alive.  So I didn't expect the news to affect me the way it did, but there you have it. 

A lot could be said about him.  Some of us didn't agree with the choices he had made at times. Some of us felt hurt and confused at some of his actions. But we can't let those events take away the memories of how much he made us smile. I'm going to remember him as caring old guy who always had a story to tell. I'm going to remember him as the guy who gave us advice to live by.  I'm going to remember him as the guy that made me feel good about myself.

Goodbye

NOVEMBER 23rd 2007

Turkey day was just lovely!  Watched the Macy*s parade, friends came over for the festivities.  Of course Chris didn't.  Though I was pre-warned that he wouldn't be around for the holidays.  Point of a boyfriend?  *shrugs*  The turkey turned out delightful and the cheesecake superb.  I am a fabulous cook, if I do say so myself!

All in, two thumbs up!

NOVEMBER 22nd 2007

Twas the morning of Turkey Day and all through the house, every creature was hungry, even the mice!  The children were laughing watching with glee, the Macy*s day parade!  In the kitchen the the feast was being prepared, but where is the turkey all roasted and stuffed?  The pan was placed in the oven empty, not a bird, not a sauce, not even a stuffing!

Midday comes and all are huddled by the TV watching Football and cheering.  When out in the kitchen ever so quietly they hear a tiny gobble oh what could that be?  It's big ol' Turkey all magnificent and great plopping a turkey bird all stuffed and cooked into the pan left in the oven to cook.

Shortly thereafter the smell waifed through the house.  There were whoops and cheers the feast is here!

It's the Great Turkey, Stephen Paul!!!

NOVEMBER 21st 2007

WOO HOO!  The Broadway strike isn't going to fuck with my Christmas plans after all!!!!  The NY State Supreme Court has ordered an injunction saying that the show MUST go on!

I got my tickets the other day for one of the shows on December 22nd.  I'm so excited!!!

I had a friend last year from Asia that had never heard of the Grinch.  Can you imagine?  That was .... well is one of my favorite Christmas stories.  I made him watch the cartoon and the Jim Carey movie and then got him the book.  He loves it now too!

NOVEMBER 21st 2007

Wow!  Kids, Bender's Big Score is THE best Futurama ever!  It's so worth the 2 year wait.  We start out with a big old fuck you to Fox and then move on to a shout out to the entire series WITH a kick ass story line!  I tell you, it's Star Wars quality how in sync they are with the series.

So tomorrow is Turkey Day.  Food was delivered yesterday.  What was supposed to be a 20 pound bird came in as a 13 pound bird.  I don't know what the hell to do with it.  I think this is the smallest turkey that I have ever made.  Meh, we will see what happens.

NOVEMBER 18th 2007

OMFG  I just got Kylie's new album.  As predicted this cd is pants down my absolute favorite album of the year, amazingly for me, kicking Madonna's album to #2, Kylie's Homecoming Tour cd to #3 and Celine's Taking Chances to #4.

I can't stop listening to Speakerphone.  So hot!

NOVEMBER 13th 2007

Don't know much about your life.  Don't know much about your world, but don't want to be alone tonight, On this planet they call earth.  You don't know about my past, and I don't have a future figured out.  And maybe this is going too fast.  And maybe it's not meant to last, but what do you say to taking chances?
 

What do you say to jumping off the edge?  Never knowing if there's solid ground below or hand to hold, or hell to pay. 
 

What do you say?  What do you say?

I just want to start again, and maybe you could show me how to try, and maybe you could take me in, somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances?  What do you say to jumping off the edge?

NOVEMBER 12th 2007

Celine Dion - Taking Chances       

Pants down, this is the best original, non concert/live album that I've heard all year.

NOVEMBER 11th 2007

And now I'm in dot net!  After like 5 years of trying, I finally got the dot net version of my site.  It's about time that bitch came off it.  Back when I first started she was imitating my site.  So not cool!

NOVEMBER 10th 2007

I was tolerant of the writers strike in Hollywood.  I've got enough DVD's and rerun TV to hold me over.  In fact it might do me good to cut down on TV some.  This morning I learn that the stagehands on Broadway are going to strike?!  WTF?!  I'm on my way to New York on Friday and wanted to catch a play.  Heaven help me if they fuck up my ability to see the Grinch at Christmas!

Fucking unions!

NOVEMBER 9th 2007

Ya know ..... I don't know.

NOVEMBER 8th 2007

Had a lovely dinner party here at the house last night.  It was some of the best lasagna that I have ever had!  I can't wait until the next event.

NOVEMBER 6th 2007

I feel like I am just now starting to return to normal.  Last weekend I was on a staff retreat down in bumblefuck, virginia.  I'm sure for people that don't mind going without TV, cell service, internet, taxis, public transport, along with other modern conveniences it would be a lovely spot.  I am not one of those people.  I did have some good time bonding with my colleagues over bottles and bottles of wine though.

OH OH OH  and the McDonalds in the town near where I was staying had the McRib!!!  Sweet mother of Cher!!  I can't even describe the excitement as I took that first bite of a McRib since 1994.

NOVEMBER 3rd 2007

I went to, what is turning into an annual tradition, see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D with Debbie last night.  I think that Disney actually retooled it more than last year because it seemed much more 3D-ish than what I remember seeing before.  I also noticed that some of the colors were much more vibrant.  Either way, it's a phenomenal movie no matter what format it's in.

So I'm not too sure what made me do he research and calculations last night, but I decided to offer to fly my Mom down here for Thanksgiving or if she couldn't make that, to fly her over to New York in December to meet me there to watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas on Broadway.  As I predicted she was unable to make Turkey Day.  She cites work related issues as the excuse.  She did however seem interested in the NYC deal.

I assume she will bail on that as well.  Just a hunch based on previous experiences.  At least I tried though!

OCTOBER 30th 2007

Oh how I wish I lived in New York right now.  The Little Mermaid opens up on Broadway Saturday.  I'm so excited.  I don't think that I will be able to go see it until like January or February though.  Boo!

So I had my annual review at the office yesterday.  As opposed to the last company, who bitched about me being too efficient, I got rave reviews along with a nice raise.  Most importantly I get to start working 8-5 rather than those dreadful hours of 9-6.  I am just too old to be working those kind of late hours.

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!!!!!

OCTOBER 26th 2007

So the birthday trip..... good stuff.  Had some food, some shopping, lotta drinking, sight seeing, the zoo and Broadway.  What's better?

I'm tired now.

OCTOBER 23rd 2007

K, birthday was fun.  I will yap about that later though.

Mom called.  Can't remember the last time she did that for my birthday.  More important, Mickey Mouse emailed me!!!!!

OCTOBER 6th 2007

is dead?  X X

So I read where I'm supposed to be growing out of the cute, pretty drinks (i.e. Cosmopolitan) and start drinking more sophisticated drinks.  So I tried out a Manhattan.  I must say, it was yummer doodles!  After about 4 or 5 or so, I had a lovely drunk going on.  Getting sophisticated wasn't as tough as I thought it would be.

Right so I wake up and almost thought I had a hang over.  I started to get worried that I had pressed my luck.  Fortunately, it turned out I was just extremely tired.  A couple hours extra sleep took care of that.

OCTOBER 5th 2007

I so need a vacation.

SEPTEMBER 28th 2007

Yeah, so did I mention that I can drink again?  uh huh

So remember those meds the doc had me on?  Come to find out that getting a deadly rash was nothing compared to the real side effect - Drinkie = Sickie!

So I've been off the stuff for a few months now.  Crazyish, yes.  BUT I CAN DRINK AGAIN BABY! 

To think all of this time I thought I was getting old and couldn't handle my liquor!  Fucking meds!

SEPTEMBER 12th 2007

This poor kid ...... at least he's committed to defending Britney!  It just warms my heart to see these train wrecks!

SEPTEMBER 11th 2007

AUTUMN GOODBYE

I never promised you a happy ending
You never said you wouldn't make me cry
but summer love will keep us warm long after
our autumn goodbye, autumn goodbye
autumn goodbye

Thinkin' of you and the love of our lives
in the sweet summertime
so sad but true (so true, so true)
we must leave it behind
in our hearts, in our minds

From April through September
bittersweet was the love that we share
don't forget
I remember

Memories can fade
but my heart has a place for the smile on your face
and maybe someday
we can be more than friends
love will find us again

Red leaves and blue tomorrows
Time will give back the love that we shared
on the time that we borrowed

From April through September
bittersweet was the love that we share
don't forget
I remember baby

We'll leave behind the summertime
our hearts, our minds
they will remind
we won't forget
the day we met
the day we cried
Autumn Goodbye

I never promised you a happy ending
You never said you wouldn't make me cry
but summer love will keep us warm long after
our autumn goodbye, autumn goodbye
autumn goodbye

SEPTEMBER 10th 2007

Autumn Goodbye

Dear Britney,

WTF man?!  WTF?!  Come on!  I gave you a chance.  I was rootin' for you.  I thought for damn sure Gimme More was the beginning of your resurgence.  I was all about to totally declare you" back" yesterday morning when I heard Kiss Me All Over and saw some footage of your rehearsals.  I had my friends on the phone all excited about the big night........

Then ...... oh god damn it Britney! 

So you lipsynced.  I don't care.  You never could sing, why start now?  But you couldn't even bring the lipsyncing!  You forgot the fucking words!  Now one would think that if you can't do the vocal part you would most certainly make up for it in the dancing/performance portion, but YOU DIDN'T!!!  You looked dazed and confused.  Your dancers had to push you along to help get you on point so you could throw your hands up in the air.

And you thought that was all sexy, didn't you?  You come out on stage in nothing but your underwear.  That was hot back when you were younger and cuter (i.e. before the kids).  Now it just looks sad.  Oh Britney.

Why? 

Here's my advice.  Don't bother.  Don't try.  Just stop.  Go get yourself a kick ass financial advisor to plan out the rest of your life in dignity.  That's right, you do NOT want to get desperate in another 10 years for cash and do some trashy, degrading reality TV show for some quick cash. 

Damn.  Now come give Daddy a hug.  You poor thing.  You need it.

Love,

Stephen

SEPTEMBER 9th 2007

THE END

After weeks of hype and promise of one of the greatest Britney performances ever, she put on the worst performance of her career. 

I'm too upset to continue.  I'll bitch more later.

SEPTEMBER 8th 2007

What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around.

Hahahahaa  This week kinda was shitty, but these pics made me giggle.

SEPTEMBER 1st 2007

It's Britney bitch!

Uggg I'm so pissed off that I'm totally in love with Britney's new song.  She was supposed to fail!

---> Gimme More <---

Yeah and I'm starting to dig Madonna's new song.  It has a good beat.  The sticking point is still her saying "whichu", like she's trying to be all black or something.  For a woman that is very deliberate in her speech, "whichu" just doesn't sound right. 

So last night did the whole Omega/Apex thing with Chris.  Good times.  So the DJ upstairs was stopping songs in the middle of them to change to god knows whatever else, in an attempt to flirt with the bartender.  Well yay that the bartender was all happy with the music, but it was quite evident that the room wasn't.  Asshole!  The music didn't go to good until they booted the DJ out to ticket taker and got someone in that was going to do the job.

Other than that, good stuff!

AUGUST 31st 2007

Goodbye England's rose May you ever grow in our hearts You were the grace that placed itself Where lives were torn apart You called out to our country And you whispered to those in pain Now you belong to heaven And the stars spell out your name And it seems to me you lived your life Like a candle in the wind Never fading with the sunset When the rain set in And your footsteps will always fall here Along England's greenest hills Your candle's burned out long before Your legend ever will Loveliness we've lost These empty days without your smile This torch we'll always carry For our nation's golden child And even though we try The truth brings us to tears All our words cannot express The joy you brought us through the years

And it seems to me you lived your life Like a candle in the wind Never fading with the sunset When the rain set in And your footsteps will always fall here Along England's greenest hills Your candle's burned our long before Your legend ever will Goodbye England's rose May you ever grow in our hearts You were the grace that placed itself Where lives were torn apart Goodbye England's rose From a country lost without your soul Who'll miss the wings of your compassion More than you'll ever know And it seems to me you lived your life Like a candle in the wind Never fading with the sunset When the rain set in And you footsteps will always fall here Along England's greenest hills Your candle's burned out long before Your legend ever will

AUGUST 30th 2007

Well how about that.  My dreams have come true.  I can finally move to Iowa and get married!

AUGUST 29th 2007

Right, so here I am shoveling a donut in my face when it happens.  I start choking.  No no not that kind where you cough all dramatic.  It's the one where you know you are going to suffocate to death because you are a fat fuck that didn't eat a bit slower!

So I don't know what to do.  I briskly walk from my office the the kitchen.  I'm not too sure what I was going to do in there, but whatever it was I certainly didn't want it to happen near my laptop!  Anyways, here I am standing in the kitchen, not too sure what to do.  Here's the things that flash through my head -

1. Why the fuck did I not ever pay attention to how to do the Heimlich?

2. I probably have donut powder on my face.  Uggg I so don't want to die with my face looking like that.

3. UGGGG  This outfit looks horrible!  I REALLY do not want to die in this outfit.

Then I remembered how to throw up.  Praise Cher!  Binge and purge! 

Oh how dreadfully frightening!  Not being one to make a scene, I just went quietly back to my desk to have another donut.

AUGUST 27th 2007

Well that was a fun weekend.  I went up to Albany, NY with Philip for the annual John Williams concert at Tanglewood.  Good relaxing stuff.  Half of the concert was music from Harry Potter.  I felt so grown up there!

AUGUST 23rd 2007

The following was posted on Family Pride's Blog today.  Frankly, if every parent was like this one, this world would be a better place.